Guidance: contains language which may offend.
Alfred: Bob, could you check my application? Don’t worry, it’s short.
Bob: Sure, what’s it for?
A: Travel grant. Japan.
B: Holiday?
A: Basically, but it’s also the final part of my D of E Gold Award.
B: Why Japan? I mean, you don’t want to stay there too long, you’ll go all ‘slitty-eyed.’
A: Ha, yes, except, isn’t that China?
B: Is it? Aren’t they both…?
A: No, that is, I’m pretty sure only one is. There was a mnemonic my mother taught me to tell them apart, but I always forgot it.
B: Anyway, yeah cool. When are you going?
A: June/July. It’s not finalised.
B: Are you taking your GF?
A: Um, no, basically, I think it could be a bit awkward.
B: Yeah, that’s why I asked. Because aren’t they meant to be pretty racist out there?
A: True, but also, well, I mean… I’ve never actually… but I’ve always wanted to… apparently they cry.
B: What, they cry if they see a black person?
A: No, when you – you know. When you fuck them. Girls smell really nice when they cry.
B: Really? And that’s, that’s good is it? I mean it happened to me once and it wasn’t much fun.
A: This is different, they’re pretending. It’s part of that whole manga rape fantasy thing.
B: Woah! I didn’t rape her.
A: Of course, of course.
B: It was just the morning after the morning after, and she came down really hard.
A: Ok, sure, I know.
B: Do people think…
A: No, of course not. Look I’ve got to go, but could you just have a skim through that and tell me what you think? It’s just the usual guff about different philosophic traditions and how this manifests itself in everyday life, boring boring, etc.
B: Sure, I’ll glance at it, let you know if there are any solenoids.
A: Great, thanks. I’ll see you later. Actually, wait a sec., what?
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The Eavesdropper prefers to remain anonymous.
