by Tommy Tannock

Curry rice

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Minced meat croquets

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Fruits with agar jelly

One of the many many myths the Japanese have managed to export is that they live only off tofu and squid sashimi, which is why they live so long and aren’t fat. (Their life expectancy is higher then other Western countries because of the superb pre-natal care which means Japan’s infant mortality rate is virtually nil. Skinny because of breeding amongst themselves for 1000 years, where only about 5% of the population were allowed to eat anything other than meagre servings of milled barley.)

Curry rice is a staple dish here, most people eating it at least twice a week at home, it being cheap, easy to make and filling. It’s strange because it’s not even a second hand dish, but third, having been brought by the English around the turn of the century. It’s a thick, sweet, gravy-like sauce with the faintest hint of curry powder and no spice. Usually has potato, carrots and meat. Pretty much gross. Tons of MSG probably. So moreish.

It is amazing to see how grown adults get so unbelievably excited on curry days, shovelling third helpings into their mouths with small spoons. I always sit next to the maths teacher (male and female teachers usually eat separately), Matsumoto-Sensei, who is the most cartoon looking of the teachers. Absolutely enormous, with a huge square head, an unruly tuft of hair and tiny circular glasses, he looks like an overgrown baby. He has one of those mischievous faces which is always dripping with sweat, and a massive, overly tight belly. All the teachers double up as sports club coaches, and he does basketball, so he’s always got these long sports shorts pulled up over his belly button which only accentuates his symmetrically square frame and flat buttocks. I think he went for sixths today.

Tommy Tannock | December 11th, 2009 | Featured in The Issue: Japanophilia | See more from Notice Board

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